I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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