Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
