This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize