no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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