Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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