I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
