I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
