I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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