My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
