she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
