You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
