new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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