Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
