She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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