i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
