I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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