forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
