apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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