Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
