so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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