if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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