i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
