I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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