He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
