it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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