i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
