party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
