the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
