I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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