I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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