Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
