why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
