I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
