So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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