What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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