you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
