Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
