Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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