I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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