Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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