Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
