Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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