five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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