fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
