I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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