the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
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