I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
