Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
