I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize