I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You can't motorboat a personality
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
