Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
