Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
