OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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