I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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