I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
