dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
