Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize