i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
