Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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