the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my phone needs a breathalizer
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize