They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
