i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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